{"id":29590,"date":"2021-06-09T07:23:25","date_gmt":"2021-06-09T11:23:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tiie.w3.uvm.edu\/blog\/?p=29590"},"modified":"2025-05-21T06:18:04","modified_gmt":"2025-05-21T10:18:04","slug":"innovative-ed-mailbag-flummoxed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tiie.w3.uvm.edu\/blog\/innovative-ed-mailbag-flummoxed\/","title":{"rendered":"From the innovativeEd mailbag: Flummoxed in Flannery"},"content":{"rendered":"

From the innovativeEd mailbag: a reader looks for ways to keep pathways of conversation open with their colleagues when it comes to talking about difficult topics. Meet “Flummoxed in Flannery”.<\/p>\n

“Dear InnovativeEd,<\/h4>\n

With everything that’s been going on lately, simple conversations with coworkers have turned into a minefield of hurt feelings, recriminations and misunderstandings. So many of our conversations that should be about teaming and pedagogy wind up being derailed by political concerns and debates about our personal values. We should be spending time working out plans for students’ best learning interests, but instead we struggle to stay civil.<\/p>\n

I adore my teaching team, and I’m worried this patch of difficulties will do long-term damage to our ability to reach students. Am I worrying without cause? Is this happening to everyone? What are some ways I can have healthy, respectful conversations with the other adults in my building? Help!<\/p>\n

Sincerely,
\nFlummoxed in Flannery”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dear Flummoxed in Flannery,<\/h4>\n

You have described such an important dilemma! Thank you for this question. I’m so glad that you raise this issue, because you are right to be concerned. The interactions of adults in a school building can indeed be felt and perceived by students. What’s more, the adults in the school can act as role models for the students as they strive to engage in healthy and respectful conversations.<\/p>\n

That’s why I’d like to suggest a kind of two-pronged approach to address your dilemma.<\/p>\n

First, I’d suggest that your staff and school colleagues invest some time into setting norms or community agreements.<\/h5>\n

If you have existing norms, I’d suggest that you revisit them in a formal discussion and through a valid process. Making space to engage together in creating norms that foster healthy and respectful dialogue is so important.<\/p>\n

I’ll share that my own team has carefully developed a set or norms that guide our work and our meetings. Here are my team’s community agreements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
Team Community Agreements<\/caption>\n
Welcome our fully human selves<\/b><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Connect, build relationships and community<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Bring our whole selves and our values to the work<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Express gratitude<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Communicate and attend to negative impact<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Be present\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Be aware of how you\u2019re showing up for yourself and your colleagues<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Hold ourselves and each other accountable to our agreements<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Seek and offer feedback<\/b><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Bring our dilemmas and work to the table<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Be clear about the feedback you are seeking, give feedback focused on the request<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Embrace challenging feedback<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Value mistakes, struggles, and failures as opportunities for learning and growth<\/b><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Celebrate risk taking<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Make space for vulnerability<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Strive for clarity<\/b><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Ask if you don\u2019t understand<\/span><\/li>\n
  • State expectations<\/span><\/li>\n
  • Surface assumptions<\/span><\/li>\n
  • No is not an invitation to negotiate<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n
Take space, make space, hold space<\/b><\/p>\n